Thursday, August 07, 2008

letter to my house

Dear house,

I'm not going to beat around the bush -- 85 degrees? Inside? I'm at a loss, house. I close the windows, it's hot. I open the windows for a stale breeze, it's hot -- and I sneeze. No matter what I do, it doesn't seem to be good enough for you. How am I supposed to bring guests into this situation?

To top off my misery, I seem to have some little bug and I'm completely achey and a tad miserable -- I caught myself eyeing your tacky cream carpet in the basement today while my boys played, wanting to curl up on its cool(ish) surface and close my eyes. I think I'm a bit crazy from the heat...

Really. This is ridiculous and it just has to stop. I might just have to go get a portable air conditioner. And if I am forced to do that, guess what? No fancy decorations or new objet d'artes for you.

Think about that -- do you really want to go down that road? Once we start, there's no turning back.

Yours in lease,


Patrick said...

nothing changes. poor thing. i think of you daily and your unfortunate situation with a house someone has fixed up nice for you, just so you can find shit to bitch about all the time. miss you TONS down here in utah. patrick

Kellie said...

please, please, please. you want to bitch about me - do it to me. not kellie. im just making a point that you are very high maintence and a drama queen. proven by the phone call to kellie to go "oh my god, what is wrong with him"