Friday, March 27, 2009

calm before the storm

I'm hosting an event at my house tomorrow for my business... and let's just say there are several things I should be doing right now instead of posting about how I am a slacking procrastinator who dreads the idea of stuffing things into balloons and trying to step outside of my limited "making-things-cutesy" box in order to, well... make things cutesy.

What do you do though, right? I blame it on genetics. To get things done, I need a big, ugly, black stormcloud of a deadline looming on the horizon, growing ever closer while my blood pressure increases, my palms start getting sweaty and my husband starts getting irritable. Thanks, mom!

My best guess is that at about 8:15 tonight, I'll fly into a panic and make Mike bake something while I run to the store and throw things into my cart indiscriminately before rushing home, where I'll realize that I forgot the most vitally important things on my list (which I neglected to create until 8:16 pm when I was already in a dither). At that point I'll send Mike back out for those things while I stuff balloons, make signs, curse under my breath, give myself papercuts and watch "Twilight" twice (a seriously flawed decision on my part, as I will give neither the movie nor my projects the attention they deserve).

Around two in the morning I'll fall into a restless sleep, until about an hour before I need to wake up when I'll slip into an exhaustion-induced coma. I will almost certainly sleep in, and when I send Mike out for helium-filled balloons for the front yard I will busy myself by drinking too much coffee, cursing under my breath and taking a hurried shower.

At this point I will undoubtedly be very short on time, so I'll (sort of) do my hair and makeup while I wonder aloud at my sheer idiocy for (a.) putting things off and (b.) choosing a start time of 11:00 instead of 1:00. Mike and I will probably get into a little argument when he returns with the wrong color of balloons because I will be seriously irritable and slightly unstable. He will take the kids to the park, and I will plaster on a smile while greeting my first guests and hope that I didn't forget something major like paper plates (which I probably did indeed forget.)

Until then, though? It's smooth sailing, people. I'm gonna go paint my toenails.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

nothing to see here, folks!

The pressure is mounting for me to post now that I've officially announcemed my un-retirement. I can feel it in air. I'm worried that my life has really gone downhill, excitement factor-wise. Let's see... what has happened (somewhat) recently?

  • I lost some baby weight!! Please, no comments about how baby #2 is 17 months old.

  • oohhh... yeah. I gained some weight back. (Moving a bajillion times is stressful, okay?? Yes, we moved again. Maybe we're turning into nomads.)

  • But I lost some of the weight again!! Just a bit though. A fit of religiousness inspired a new diet and exercise plan... divine intervention, perhaps? We just might have to investigate that one of these days!

  • Mike has a new job -- he likes it, and aside from the 50+ hour work weeks right now (ew?) I am much relieved to see my cute man in business casual dress again. He is so much better at being a good boy than a bad boy... even with his trendy long sideburns. (long as in present on his face, not long as in mutton chops, ok? I'm placing my vote for "ick" in the "non-existant sideburns" ballot box.)

  • Aidan is still a delightful(ly exhausting) preschooler who keeps me on my toes. He loves to make up gibberish and random words, like "To-maitch-ee-da," a character he made on the Wii who likes to go like this:

  • Wesley is growing up much faster than Aidan did, it seems. He likes to play with the "big boy" toys, and has mastered the art of walking around the house while woefully crying "ow ow ow ow" to get attention. He's into everything. Just this morning he found a small foil-covered chocolate santa I had used last year at my shows while he was going through my office and bit it in half, sucking the chocolate out before I noticed what he was doing and pulled the foil from his mouth. Here's a photo of my grumpy boy after naptime:

(yes, I know it's not new -- so you may have seen it on Facebook... but Aidan stole away with our digital camera and managed to erase the entire memory card. So it'll have to do for now!)

  • Oh yes, and much craftiness has been had by all -- or at least by me. Out of character? Most definitely. Truly exciting? You betcha! Oh and by craftiness I mean "using the sewing machine after wiping off the layer of dust" not things like tole painting, decoupage, making wreaths or pressing flowers. Perish the thought!

So there you have it. You have officially been caught up and now we are BFF's once again.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

big news people!

It's been a super long time since I posted last, hasn't it? Well I'm sure there's a pretty awesome reason to call me back here, since my ever-increasing shame has a way of keeping me at bay (my shame is directly proportional to the amount of time since my last post)...

...I have blog-home-sickness. I don't know if I write to amuse myself or others (probably myself, and if so I'm a smashing success) but last week a friend told me my old sausage post was one of the funniest things she's ever read, and this morning I was reading some of my favorite posts and feeling quite weepy and nostalgic.

Maybe it's that all I do is clean my house and work on my business... maybe it's that all my recent Facebook friends have been customers and hostesses FROM my business... maybe it's that at my shows I can't act like the complete dork that I really am on the inside, or that I have to drive 3 1/2 hours to hang out with my girlfriends. Whatever the reason, I miss blogging -- for me AND my 3 readers!

I'm making no promises for daily posts or anything, since writing posts that don't make my stomach curl inward with their lame-ness takes both time and effort. Also it's pretty challenging to type on my keyboard which has recently decided it doesn't LIKE spaces between words so much... dumb spacebar. But I'll try.

Isn't that exciting?? Nod your heads, please.